Memo: Top Secret
by Stan Moor
Our proud nation is unprepared for a burden so substantial as the one that it now faces. Thousands of returning veterans will cost the state perhaps billions in support costs. These worthy men and women return home estranged from their families and lacking the basic faculties to survive in modern society. The unfortunate ones go homeless and can die of frost and starvation, and even the luckier individuals often find themselves in low-end jobs, unable to adapt to their old way of life.
Clearly something must be done to rectify the situation. It is not this committee’s intention to put forth a military solution for warding off our enemies’ most devastating attacks. However, after much deliberation, we have come to a most reluctant conclusion as to the ultimate fate of these individuals.
Soldiers affected by these new weapons have proven incurable and incapable of rehabilitation. As such, they are little more than eating, breathing dead. They contribute nothing and require much. We are therefore forced to conclude that the only reasonable solution is the complete eradication of these individuals. Though this decision is sure to meet with opposition, we remain confident that retention of affected persons would only damage our already lamentable economy and divert resources needed in more pressing areas.
On a more personal note, this committee eagerly endorses any defense against the so-called “memory bombs” that have driven us to such extreme actions. It is pitiful to witness hordes of memory-crippled troops unable to perform the simplest of tasks. We find it striking to note how integral memory is to our very being as humans, and how debilitating is its absence.